Updated: Dec 30, 2022
Have you ever experienced being LOVE BOMBED?
Definition: the action or practice of lavishing someone with attention or affection, especially in order to influence or manipulate them.
Usually, we often associate this term with romantic relationships. Being completely 'chased,' and dropped. Ghosted!
All of a sudden, experiencing the whiplash of Houdini magic. Poof!
This is debilitating.
The very act in itself leaving its victim triggered, abused and spiralling into the depths of rejection and self-doubt.
Quite honestly, the cruellest act.
However, this article today is to help you identify other areas of your life where this can be happening.
Sadly, this occurs far too often!
Within friendships and workplaces, both in person and online.
To succinctly put it, places BUILT on the foundations of a 'cult culture.' A culture using tactics like love bombing, to lure new members and associates to get ahead.
Far too many vulnerable groups fall victim to this experience.
And YES! I speak from experience.
It looks great on the outside.
It's an environment that promises connection, opportunity, like-minded souls, safety.
But on the inside, it's an entirely different experience. One that lifts you up, only to drop you, leaving you crashing down to the ground quickly.
Do you recognise this cycle?
Yup! Manipulation is sadly not recognised until it's too late.
Perhaps you signed up to a work opportunity, a group, a community, made a new circle of friends...
But now you're sitting there questioning yourself!
'What was wrong with me?'
'Why do I never fit in?'
'Why was I never chosen?'
'What did I do to deserve that?'
'I'm just not cut out for it. It's because I'm rubbish.'
'It's because I'm not good enough.'
'I thought they liked me.'
'I thought they understood me.'
'I thought they cared about what I'd been through.'
'How could they?'
'Am I unlikeable?'
'Am I a fool?'
'They must have seen me coming.'
'What was I missing?'
'How could I be so stupid?'
If this is you, STOP, pause, breathe in calm, exhale questioning yourself and keep reading on...
The truth is, you ARE the very OPPOSITE of 'stupid'.
That is precisely WHY you got discarded and devalued.
Read that again!
That is precisely WHY you got discarded and devalued.
You were dropped because you don't fall for BS.
You call it out.
You do see it for what it is and you weren't following the crowd.
Your genuine, authentic heart and nature made YOU STAND OUT, in a great way!
But the culture and 'flock mentality,' made your body and stomach churn, watching followers chase for recognition and holding key leaders high up on pedestals.
You noticed the behaviour of others was not right.
Your body TOLD YOU *WARNING* - 'Something isn't right here.'
You will have heard and definitely experienced two-faced behaviour from others.
'Hang on, they were just 'slagging them off.' Now they are blowing up their social media with hearts and emojis?
Are you nodding?
Yet, it's everywhere and social media has allowed more and more of these 'cult' pockets to be formed. This IS a very damaging and harming issue that unfortunately, governments just don't know how to control.
These bubbles, trigger your very soul!
It can even harm your current relationships with friends and family. Being told to you 'must,' and 'should' behave in certain ways to 'grow,' and if you don't, 'you just aren't committed enough!' Whilst, this does happen in friendships, this point here is mainly related to work opportunities online.
This is one of the reasons I moved my business and community away from social platforms where possible.
We are all learning how to adapt to an online life. Especially after COVID.
We all have to PIVOT to the online space and as such, we will learn through trial and error what works for us.
One of the reasons you were DISCARDED is because you were successful!
You do have that special quality that can threaten others.
Heart. A genuine nature, interested only in long-term connections.
Those who actively use manipulative tactics seek quick wins, low hanging fruit and move on very quickly to the next idea.
I stuck to what felt right for me. In turn, what felt right to those who share my same values.
But there's no denying, social media is rife with toxic 'cult' cultures.
If this has been an experience for you, rest assured that you knew.
You saw it. You felt it.
Your body warned you and it made you physically unable to stomach what you were seeing.
Learn to listen to yourself and don't let others talk yourself into their SHOULDS.
TRUST YOUR BODY!
Trust your intuition and implement a good clear out with an immediate 'block button' initiation.
Many companies are building their communities on the foundational premise of Opportunity. Something very commonly seen in MLM, Pyramid style set ups. But let's be honest, all workplaces have this pyramid model of management and so too, some social circles.
The worst are those who charge you to join! Quite literally charging you to experience the toxicity. The charge isn't always financial, but an initiation of some kind. Or an act to prove yourself to others.
The ONLY person you need to prove anything to is YOURSELF.
There are always of course, many great, wonderful and safe communities out there.
Today we are specifically talking about those who have LOVE BOMBED you and caused harm, whether emotionally or financially.
Sadly, they target vulnerable groups of people and get away with it.
LOVE BOMBING applies to all kinds of relationships. Not just romantic ones so be aware of the signs.
What are the SIGNS of LOVE BOMBING to look out for?
This is often one of the first conversations with clients who have questioned themselves in the past. So, I'd like to cover what to look out for from BOTH angles here today.
This topic is NOT discussed enough. It is causing significant relationship and financial harm to many people ONLINE specifically, but face to face too...
Here are just some KEY signs, but I will be expanding on this more in future content.
In the end, it takes time to develop true, genuine relationships, at work, in social circles and in love.
They are nurtured with a genuine two-way connection.
At a pace that serves BOTH people without any form of emotional blackmail or pressure.
If you've found yourself in this situation, if you do have unhealed wounds and you find yourself attracting the same 'sorts,' towards you, this is the time to do some internal reflection and rediscover your boundaries & values and connect to your intuition.
As my own mum once told me and I stand to live by (may she rest in peace),
'If it smells like sh!t, it probably is sh!t!'
Are you ready to embark on your Somatic Healing Journey?
Here's how you can jump in and connect with me in a variety of ways. I look forward to meeting you.
Sam is amazing, I was trying to deal with so many different issues all at once and it was just too much for my head to handle. Sam is so calm and understanding, she doesn't judge and makes you feel so comfortable. It makes you feel that you're in a safe space and can talk about anything. 100% recommend, absolutely amazing woman is so many ways 💕
~ Heather. M~12-09-2022
Always by your side whilst you rediscover yourself with love.
Samantha Jane x