Updated: Dec 30, 2022
How our addiction to social media is affecting our minds and body, why it's SO hard to control and 3 Tips for getting hold of it today...
The toxicity of Social Media and how it's holding you back from your life!
We ALL feel it!
Do you often catch yourself reminiscing the times before social media and even mobile phones?
Do you catch yourself feeling annoyed with yourself for falling into the scroll hole again...for hours!
Does this leave you feeling disappointed in yourself because you weren't present in your life right in front of you?
How much time have you already wasted?
As a mother, I know this feeling of guilt and shame all too well, when I've allowed myself to become totally distracted from my son and without realising it, hours fly by.
Hours that I wished I was more present with him.
But I ALWAYS found excuses.
I ALWAYS found a purpose...'it was always for work,' I told myself.
Actually, I discovered it was an addiction. I had to dig deep and ask myself what it was providing me...what was I missing in my life?
After all, we have just experienced a pandemic, lockdowns, no ability to socialise and feelings of agoraphobia have climbed to great heights.
But when you're laying there in bed, late at night, knowing full well that you're into the hole again, it's 11pm and all of a sudden it's 1am...YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.
We ALL have a problem!!
Not only are we interrupting our family time, we are interrupting our natural circadian rhythm, overriding our NEED to sleep well and hygienically, but most of all...
We are slowly killing ourselves and we don't even realise it!
BIG STATEMENT - But it's true!
The connection and climb of addiction between our phones and social media and the climb of depression and mental health concerns is no secret!
Depriving ourselves of LIFE - Getting outdoors, into nature, into the present moment with our loved ones, back into our LIVES right in front of us is what we CRAVE!
So why aren't we?
Why are we getting comfortable on the sofa with a cuppa and excited about cuddling up with the phone?
THE INSTANT CHEMICAL HIT!
The gratification and excitement of a notification, a msg, a like or a comment...
Feeding into our need for social acceptance, interaction and connection...
Without realising it, your brain is rewiring itself, learning and forming new habits, messages, signals which we are unconscious to.
But it doesn't STOP there...
Sometimes, and often times, those instant pings don't come your way and you're left feeling even more lonely and asking yourself:
'Why don't I fit in with the crowd?'
'Why do they get lots of comments and I don't?'
'What did they mean by that comment?'
'What's wrong with me?'
Eventually, the NEED and PULL that got you onto the platform in the first place, TRIGGERS ALL of your hidden wounds, self-doubts, self-beliefs and insecurities.
It's a TOXIC playground keeping YOU STUCK in your own cycle of unworthiness!
But you carry on anyway.
Why can I write this ladies?
I KNOW the feeling.
We ALL feel this way.
This morning as I was dropping Thomas off to school (6 years old), he literally asked me, 'Mummy when can I have a phone?'
Honestly, I wanted to say NEVER!!
I ended up telling him when he's a teenager, so many years yet!
He wasn't happy with me, but my son is just 6 years old and I feel very strongly about protecting our children from this toxicity for as long as we can.
In the meantime, teaching them how to use technology safely, but this starts with my own behaviour! Addressing my own addiction!
It's up to us as parents to MODEL it for them! Are you? Are we?
Honestly, I know my son has observed me spending far too much time on my phone!
I work 1:1 with adult Women who are struggling with this addiction and how it's playing into their insecurities and the question remains, if we as adults can't control the PULL, how can our children?
So HOW can we take control back and use Social Media well to benefit us, rather than slowly killing us?
If you're a Woman in business, perhaps build a platform for your clients away from social media. (I did this recently for my Group Coachees, so they have a safe space on my website to visit all their training content).
Make your visits to social media, TIMED, SHORT and INTENTIONAL. Use a timer if you have to!
Think about why you're going on the platform. Ask yourself; what am I going on for? BEFORE you pick up your phone. At this point, it's become an unconscious habit to pick up the device, so STOP YOURSELF, ask the question first, decide the purpose and then go on, act and LEAVE.
BAN scrolling! This can feel like a scary one because you may justify scrolling because if you don't, you won't be able to see everyone's updates. I recently experimented with unfollowing mostly everyone, except a handful of people who I enjoy following and that light me up.
You CAN take charge of your NEWSFEED!
Your space will be much quieter, but it will be worth it because you will discover instead who you enjoy looking out for. You can then CHOOSE to search for them instead.
This actually makes the experience for the user far more INTENTIONAL and IN YOUR CONTROL.
Unfriend, unfollow, hide, take a break from anyone that doesn't make you feel HELL YES when you read their updates.
WHAT YOU CONSUME determines your personal success!
Who are your TOP 5 that you love to follow, whether that be a regular person you know or a celebrity? Who lights you up?
LEAVE ALL GROUPS you do not participate in, get any benefit from or enjoy!
Now again, this one can feel very hard because you want to support your friend don't you. You want to exist on their members list so they know you support them.
Well, you're actually taking up reach space and effecting their success results. If a person's group has LOTS of members who don't ever go in and participate, FB for example believes and assumes the group isn't very good. So, do them and YOURSELF a favour...
Be intentional with what you join, be there for a reason, a purpose, take part or leave it.
It only ends up making you feel worse because you don't participate!
Finally, don't take anything online PERSONALLY!
Hear me out, yes, it can and does significantly trigger our insecurities, but when that happens ask yourself these powerful questions first:
What is still unhealed within me that this bothers me?
What am I NOT doing for myself?
Secondly, we are NOT in control of other people, we don't know what's going on their lives, why they haven't replied YET or AT ALL or if they've even seen your stuff!
DROP assuming you know anything!
SHARE because you care, serve and just TRUST the universe always shows your stuff to the people who need to see it and what comes back to you is meant for you.
Applying these new tips to your social media life will free you from its trap and help you detach emotionally so you can finally start taking charge, responsibility for your usage and how you FEEL about yourself in the process.
Are you ready to embark on your Somatic Healing Journey?
Here's how you can jump in and connect with me in a variety of ways. I look forward to meeting you.
Sam is a very kind, gentle soul, she was patient and calm, and made me realise what I was missing in my life! She made me question why I do things, took me back to my younger self and helped me to make changes that benefited me immensely!! Be prepared to go deep and let out your emotions! I usually find it very difficult to show my emotions, but I had uncontrollable tears streaming down my face! It's the most amazing journey you can go on, so if you are wanting to improve yourself in any way, Sam will be able to help you. I'm truly grateful for every second I spent with her, she is a powerful lady and has given me so many nuggets of information that I can use to move forward in my life! Invest in yourself. It will be the best money you ever spent if you have Sam as your therapy coach.~ Annie Lightfoot, 2022 ~
Always by your side whilst you rediscover yourself with love.
Samantha Jane x